About Me

I wanted to take a moment to introduce myself and give you a better idea of who I am, what I do, and what tends to occupy the strange little corners of my brain.

Most people call me pup, pupmorningstar, or simply morningstar. The “pup” comes from my place within the Leather commUNITY, while morningstar has a little more symbolism behind it.

I use morningstar because of the mythology surrounding Lucifer as the light bearer and bringer of knowledge. For me, it has nothing to do with believing in a literal Lucifer. I am a non-theistic Satanist, so I do not believe Satan or Lucifer exists as a supernatural being. Instead, I appreciate the symbolism of bringing light into dark places, questioning what we have been told, seeking knowledge, and helping others understand things that may have been hidden from them.

That is something I try to do in my own life. I want to bring a little light into the world by making people laugh, helping people smile, encouraging people to think, and hopefully inspiring people every now and then. I also genuinely love learning. Give me a subject that catches my attention and there is a good chance I will disappear down a research rabbit hole and come back with thirty browser tabs, several books, and far more information than anyone actually asked for.

The fact that Lucifer also happens to be one of my favorite television shows was just a very convenient coincidence.

I am a writer, researcher, and content creator. Much of my work exists at the intersection of mythology, spirituality, psychology, history, sexuality, identity, politics, and social justice. I sometimes describe myself as a mythic scholar of the underworld because I am particularly interested in the things people tend to push into darkness: shadow, trauma, desire, fear, death, sexuality, power, identity, and the parts of ourselves we are often taught to hide.

Spiritually, I am Pagan and a non-theistic Satanist. If that sounds contradictory, confusing, or completely different from what you have been taught about Satanism, you are welcome to ask me about it. I would rather someone ask an uncomfortable question in good faith than continue believing misinformation.

I grew up in a family of missionaries and preachers, and at one point I was headed toward becoming one myself. I was also raised around ideas that could very easily have pushed me toward Christian nationalism, racism, white supremacy, queerphobia, and other forms of prejudice if I had never questioned what I was being taught.

Thankfully, questioning things became one of my favorite hobbies. That history is part of why I care so much about research, critical thinking, and challenging misinformation today. I know what it is like to inherit beliefs because the people around you tell you they are unquestionably true. I also know what it is like to begin pulling on one thread and discover that an entire worldview can unravel.

Identity is another major part of my life and my writing. I am queer, non-binary, transgender, and intersex, and I use they/them pronouns. And yes, singular “they” has been part of the English language for centuries, with documented use going back to the 1300s.

I am very open about who I am because visibility matters. People are naturally curious about experiences outside their own, and I would rather create room for genuine questions than demand everyone somehow already know everything. If you want to ask me about being non-binary, queer, transgender, intersex, Pagan, Satanist, Leather, or practically anything else I talk about publicly, you are welcome to ask.

My spiritual practice involves ritual, magick, dream work, shadow work, and devotional relationships with mythic and archetypal figures, particularly Leviathan. I approach those experiences through a combination of personal gnosis, symbolism, psychology, history, folklore, and research.

Leviathan plays an especially important role in my work. I understand Leviathan as both an archetypal presence and a devotional figure associated with depth, chaos, integration, transformation, and the unconscious. Much of my writing explores the idea that healing does not require destroying the parts of ourselves that once protected us.

• Fear protected something.
• Anger protected something.
• Control protected something.
• Numbness protected something.

Even unhealthy coping mechanisms usually developed because, at some point, they served a purpose.

One of the central ideas running through my work is simple: Nothing that kept you alive is your enemy. Nothing that was disowned must remain a ghost. Integration is possible, and it does not require erasure.

That idea became the foundation of one of my major projects, Leviathan: A Cycle of Integration, a twenty-part dream and narrative sequence exploring shadow, power, voice, embodiment, shame, rage, envy, control, grief, desire, authority, silence, and wholeness. Rather than treating those things as flaws that need to be eliminated, the series asks what happens when we understand why they developed and allow them to change.

Another major project is Shadows Unveiled, an ongoing book project that combines psychology, mental health, narrative, mythology, and esoteric symbolism into a larger framework for shadow integration. It explores dreams, trauma, identity, defense mechanisms, archetypes, and the unconscious while trying to keep one foot firmly planted in research and the other in spiritual experience.

I have also written a complete poetic cycle based on the Tarot Major Arcana, giving each card its own mythic voice while following the Fool's Journey as a map of transformation and healing.

My work is explicitly anti-racist, anti-fascist, queer affirming, and opposed to Christian nationalism and other systems that attempt to enforce one group's beliefs, identity, or morality on everyone else. I believe scholarship matters because misinformation can cause real harm, and I try to approach mythology, religion, history, and spirituality with enough respect to understand where traditions actually came from while also being willing to call out harmful interpretations when necessary.

I am particularly interested in the places where science and spirituality meet. I do not believe they need to be enemies. Psychology, neuroscience, anthropology, history, folklore, ritual, mythology, sexuality, altered states, dreams, and spiritual experience can all offer different lenses through which we understand human beings.

I am also part of the Leather commUNITY, where values like consent, accountability, service, integrity, respect, communication, and chosen family are extremely important to me. Leather is not simply about clothing, titles, events, or sexuality. At its best, it is a culture built around responsibility, relationships, mentorship, community, and living your values even when nobody is watching.

Across everything I do, the common thread is curiosity. I want to understand why people believe what they believe, how myths change over time, how trauma shapes identity, how communities create meaning, how power works, and how I continue to understand myself. Whenever possible, I want to share what I learn so somebody else might find it useful too.

You can find my work across TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, Threads, Bluesky, podcasts, and my personal website. My profiles are public if you want to explore my articles, poetry, podcasts, research projects, videos, or other work.

Most importantly, do not be afraid to talk to me. You do not have to understand every part of who I am before saying hello. Good-faith curiosity is welcome. Ask questions. Share ideas. Challenge assumptions. Tell me about something you think I should research. Or just send me something ridiculous that made you laugh.

At the end of the day, despite all the research, mythology, ritual, politics, philosophy, and shadow work, I am still just pup. I learn things. I write things. I occasionally yell about misinformation on the internet. I try to leave people with a little more knowledge, compassion, curiosity, or laughter than they had before they encountered me. And if I manage to bring even a little light into someone's darkness along the way, then morningstar seems like a pretty appropriate name.